Was it chemo or a dream? I really don't care. I'd had fevers most every night since I entered the hospital almost 2 weeks ago. A couple of nights ago, on chemo overnight, I began having some colorful dreams, images, etc. appearing to me when I closed my eyes. Many colors, shapes, even scary spiders, upon which I decided to praise and thank God for focus my mind of Him and His ways (Philippians 4:8).
And then it happened. An outline of the top of a door came, as if open with light shining brightly through it. Several figures seemed to go past, but then one came, stopped and just stayed there for a short while.
As I saw the outline of the head, I realized it was my Mom, in her later years of life (she died in 2007)--the outline of her white hair, all freshly permed and picked out--so pretty it was. She was there for a moment, looked a minute or two, it seemed, and then was gone.
As I pondered the experience, I wondered what this meant. Was she coming from my family members or even the Lord to say, "Now you too can come home, my child"? No, I don't think so. What I believe was happening was a confirmation from God that I am still to be here for a while. It was a tender momma, with a sick son, seeing if his fever had broken. When I was a boy my mom would come and put her hand on my head, seeing then it was ok, and then moving on to her own bed. And to me, that's what happened that night. She came to make sure I was ok, to say "You'll be all right," and then to go back to her peaceful night of rest with the Lord.
Dream, chemo, empty thoughts, intellectual--I really don't care. It was an opportunity to feel the love of my earthly momma, given to me at this troubled time by my Heavenly Abba. And for that I grateful!
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