Ever been dismissed from a job or forced out? And then, it just seems that no one will hire you, even with the skills, experience and personality that would benefit others. Tough situation! Many things go through one's mind at this hard time.
Many of us never think it will happen to us. Business executives who have worked for a company for many, many years at times find themselves suddenly looking for a new job, and no one wanting to hire them with the salaries they were commanding before. Factory workers who have given their lives to a company, and then when they can no longer make their daily "quota," find the company doing things to make them quit or get rid of them. At times, these folk are too young to retire and some even know that if they quit before retirement, they will get no retirement from the company. Unfair. There should be loyalty both on the part of an employee but also on the part of the company for long time employees as well.
Sometimes pastors feel they too need to leave or are forced to leave, and even with the leading of God to do this, it is a hard time to deal with all of "what is." Preachers too deal with similar thoughts of rejection, pain, worthlessness and even at times, entertain thoughts that "there is just nothing left for me here." Sad but true. Pastors/preachers are still people--with all the human emotions and feelings that God put into them too. Some are more "damage resistant" than others. All a part of how God wired us and who God made us to be, as well as our maturity level and spiritual maturity level.
Which brings me to my main point--even pastors need a small support group or small group, where they too can air their feelings without rejection and with the understanding and support of others. But often, if they leave the church/ministry where their small group was--even those they have begun--they find themselves alone, lonely and without the support they need at a time when maybe they need support more than at any other time of life.
It is lonely at the bottom! We often hear it as the opposite--"lonely at the top"--and that is true. But it also lonely at the bottom--when you experience hardship, trial, frustration and feelings of worthlessness. And since you are to be a "mighty person of faith," people don't want to be around you. There must be something wrong with you, if you teach and preach about faith, but when the hard time comes to you, you don't live it with "powerful faith."
I notice in
Mark 3:14 that even Jesus did not try to go it alone. "And He appointed twelve, so that they would
be with Him and that He could send them out to preach," (NASB) Jesus called men to train them and disciple them and prepare them to carry on His ministry when He had returned to be with the Father (what fellowship THAT must be!). But Jesus also called them so He would have supporters, encouragers, a small group to be there for Him during the hard times, and He had many hardships.
It is easier to deal with situations after we are through them, but during the process, the hard time, we especially need friends/colleagues/encouragers to help us deal with "what is;" the feelings, emotions, wrong thinking that may be part of our present situation. We need people who will point us to faith in God, point us to Scripture, point us to having consistent time with God and with His people, point us to physical exercise, so that we too can negotiate the hardship with victory.
In 2 Corinthians 1, Paul talks about being, as Henry Nouwen put it, "wounded healers" for one another. When one has gone through something, the person can then be a source of encouragement, support, spiritual strength for others who later go through something similar. We are to use our experience of hardship to help others negotiate effectively.
Many people were supportive during a time of hardship, discouragement and feelings of worthlessness for me--family, friends, colleagues. But one person especially, who had been through a similar situation really was there at a time I needed him. For the first time in months, I felt I was really "heard" and really "understood." Many prayed for me, and I am thankful for that, but this one really made me feel I "could" make it, and I was really "understood" and thus not alone. When you really feel heard and UNDERSTOOD, you truly feel you are NOT alone.
We all need a small group and/or especially at least one person, outside our family, who truly "understands" and accepts us--someone who makes us feel really heard--one who has been there and does truly understand because they have gone through something similar.
Jesus sought out those who would "be with Him". If Jesus needed that, a small group to support, to listen, to understand, are any of us any less needy? Even preachers/pastors/strong people of faith?
It's lonely at the bottom, especially when you feel you had been, at least to some extent, at the top in some ways, and for many, many years. But there is "
a friend who
sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24, NASB) And who of us does not need at least one of those?
