Guest Blog by Pam White: Rooting out Bitterness

Bitterness is a weed. It comes uninvited, hides among the good plants, and often sinks its roots deep before it is noticed. It robs the desired plants of nutrients, and mars the beauty of the carefully landscaped garden. If ignored, it may eventually suck the life out of the plants around it. Given these considerations, shouldn’t we be surprised to find that many of us actually fertilize bitterness?

Unfortunately, many people, even Christ followers, tend their mental gardens something like this:

· Replay the way you were wronged, over and over in your mind.

· Play the “if only” game as often as possible.

· Envy the good fortune of others who have not suffered as you have.

· Dwell on how unfair life has treated you.

· Determine never to trust again.

· Determine never to love again.

· Convince yourself that not loving and not trusting are “for my own protection.”

· Plan ways to get even with those who have hurt you.

Most of these are thoughts, not actions (“revenge” being the exception). Yet their destructive effect is the equivalent of pouring Miracle-Gro® on the weeds in the garden of my life!

How does God instruct me to weed my garden? The following principles are based upon His Word.

· As often as the offense invades my mind, meet it with renewed forgiveness, even if I must daily forgive my offender. Matthew 18:21-22 instructs, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

· As often as my improper response to the situation invades my mind, accept God’s forgiveness and forgive myself, even if I need to repeat it daily. Isaiah 6:7 says, “your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”

· Love, even though I know it is risky. I Corinthians 13:5 says, “It [love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

· Learn to trust again, even though I know it is risky. I Corinthians 13:7 reads, “It [love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

· When “if only” comes to visit, accept that the past will never change. Redirect my thoughts to the present and future, which can still be impacted for good. Romans 15:7 tells me to “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Jeremiah 29:11 assures me, “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

· Refuse to let my mind dwell on the source of my pain. Consciously redirect my thoughts toward the positive. Philippians 4:8 puts it this way: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

· Be thankful, even when I have to search for a reason to be so. Let my grateful thoughts become words of thanks, expressed to God and to others. Philippians 4:6, commands, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Colossians 4:2 echoes the idea with “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

· Choose happiness for the good fortune of others, rather than envy toward them. Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” and Romans 12:15 carries the thought further: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

· Ask God to not let my pain be wasted. Ask Him to use it as a tool to bring about good, and to make me more like Him. Romans 8:28 assures me that “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” 1 Peter 4:12-15, 19 and Matthew 5:10-12 also address this principle.

· When life gets me down, look UP to the almighty God. Psalm 121:1-2 tells me to “lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.“

· Remember that God is in control, and thank Him that I am not! Matthew 6:25-27 is an assurance of God’s wisdom and providence. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

· Wear the full armor of God. The root of bitterness tries to grow in the soil of my mind. Even though the initial attack was likely outside my mind and outside my control, the ongoing battle is very much my responsibility to fight. My success or failure depends upon whether I choose to fight in my own strength, or in the armor of God. Ephesians 6:10-17 commands, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

· Tend the fruit of the Spirit. There is little room for the root of bitterness to grow where the soil is crowded with fruit planted and tended by God. When I yield to the Holy Spirit, He will reap a beautiful harvest in my life, as described in Galatians 5:22-23. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

Following these principles from God’s word is like applying Weed B Gon MAX® to the bitter root. God knew His children would struggle with bitterness. He has provided the gardening tools to eradicate the problem. James 1:21 says, “Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”

Life hurts. Yet I have options on how to respond to pain. I can choose to nurture the root of bitterness, and allow my garden to be overtaken. As the weeds slowly destroy me, they may spread to others, especially those closest to me. Or, I can choose to attack the root of bitterness, and kill the invader which attempts to root out the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life. I must keep on guard…weeds spring up daily. Therefore, I must choose daily to tend my garden with the principles found in God’s word.