PRESENCE OR ANSWERS?

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants after" ... the healing of my disease.  "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants after" ... the wisdom to grow my church.  "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants after" ... a new ... and a solution to my problem.

Let's be honest.  When do we really seek God, for God's sake?  To spend time with Him--to cultivate a relationship with Him--to just "be" in His Presence?

I am rereading Thomas Kelly's, A Testament of Devotion, a very tiny (less than 100 pages) but challenging book written by a 20th century Quaker.  There is lots of talk of the Inner Light, and other different terms for God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus being within our hearts.

As Kelly writes, I realize how I'm missing something--actually how I'm missing SomeOne.  I seek to pray to "receive things" rather than praying to "meet with the LORD," the Lover of My Soul.

I believe this is probably the case with many, many believers, including religious leaders, pastors (I are one), and people seeking to disciple others (surely not them).

Have you ever felt desperate for God, for His Presence--rather than what He could do in your circumstances?

Now, when we do this, we are going to the right place--to the LORD, but we're missing something.  I just got out of the hospital, being there some 7+ weeks.  The first four weeks, my wife stayed there all the time, day and night.  When she needed to get back to work, and was now 100 miles from me, what did I miss the most?  I did not miss the "things" she did for me--nurses, doctors, tech people basically could do those things--in fact I found that I could do some of those things for myself.

What I missed the most was my wife's presence--the ability to see her, to talk personally with her, to just be together and feel the assurance and love of her being there.  It just wasn't the same on the phone or texting, I have to admit.

But am I that way with God, the Inner Light, the Divine Presence?  Well, no.  I seek to meet with Him when I need something--a solution to my loneliness or my need for healing or more money for this bill or that want.  I don't seek His Presence.

But isn't that what the Psalmist, probably David, was seeking in Psalm 42:1-2?  He was wanting to spend time with God--the companionship, the assurance of Presence, the Person not the thing He could provide.  I think so.

Does God give answers to prayer?  Well, of course He does.  Does He give wisdom and solutions and ideas of how to grow our church or have better family life or healing for our diseases?  Of course.

But wouldn't it be refreshing if you and I just sought out God without an agenda of "getting something"  and sought just to be in His Presence, basking in the friendship, the companionship, the love He shows just by being with us, sinful creatures forgiven and made clean so we can BE with Him, a Holy, fully Righteous God?

My challenge in days to come is to seek the Lord for the Lord's sake--rather than just to come out of  need to find an answer or solution.

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for YOU, O God.  When can I come and meet with YOU?"