A friend of mine was out on campus today, holding a big cross and giving out nails as a reminder of Good Friday and its meaning. It reminded me of an experience I had a few years ago, while I was still in collegiate ministry. I wrote about this (and it was published) in "Discipleship Journal," a magazine then put out by Navigators (NavPress).
I was out on campus with several students from our ministry, holding the cross and passing out nail tracts, sharing about the sacrifice of Jesus and the nails that held him to the cross. After a few hours on campus, it was time to go back to our ministry building. All of the students helping needed to get to class or other places. I was left with the cross, probably about 8 feet tall, and a large box of nail tracts that we were passing out that morning.
I guess it was probably about a mile back to our ministry building, and I was crossing campus, struggling to carry the cross and the box of tracts alone. From time to time, I would shift the items from side to side--it was not only heavy, but awkward to carry as well.
What was interesting was that, as I struggled with the cross and box, I caught myself feeling embarrassed that I was struggling with this in full sight of students and others passing by. Not only was it tiresome, but I was embarrassed. Finally, I got back to our ministry building with a sigh of relief.
As I reflected on the experience later, I thought to myself, "What a contradiction!" For a few hours, with others, I was comfortable holding the cross and passing out the tracts. Then when it was just me, I not only struggled physically, but emotionally as well--embarrassed to be seen struggling with this all.
I realized that Jesus struggled on this day--Good Friday--with a much harder load to carry--a real cross, real nails, a message rejected by most, and the public ridicule of those while He was on the cross, dying for the sins of others. And I got embarrassed struggling with carrying a cross and a box, but in no danger of being killed. What a contrast--what a contradiction between what I had been doing and what I was now doing!
For me it was a good lesson in humility and in standing up for what I said I believed to be true. How easy I left being a good follower, and like Peter, denied my Lord in my embarrassment.
It is easy for me to quote Luke 9:23, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me." (Jesus said it.) But living it out is much harder. Words sometimes are cheap; living life is not.
I am glad that Jesus did not get embarrassed carrying my cross--for my sins. I am glad He did not turn back from His destiny ("Nevertheless, not My will but Thine be done.").
I have a Savior who is both effective in His action on behalf of a sinful world, but also a worthy model to emulate.
Maybe you and I should more often carry a cross in a public place, struggle with carrying both it and a box of nails, to remind us, in a very small way, of what Jesus went through for us on that, as we call it, "Good Friday."
Thank You Jesus. Teach me what lessons I need from this experience.
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