Monday, March 11, 2013

WIVES AND HUSBANDS

Col. 3:17  “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.”  (NIV) 

Whatever you do—word and deed.  Read on. 

Colossians 3:18-19 

At this point, Paul addresses what difference living for Jesus should make in three sets of relationships—wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters.  Today—wives and husbands. 

Interesting in a male oriented society that he should address women first.  But he does so in each of these three relationships—the one looked upon by their society as the lesser is addressed first.  Is Paul raising the status by addressing them first? 

In Galatians, Paul says in Christ, there is neither Greek nor Jew, slave nor free, male or female.  All are equals in Christ. 

So what does Paul say? 

  1. Wives submit to your husband—he does not say, women submit to any man—or wives submit to any man—but wives submit to your husband.  Why wives submit?
                                                              i.      Males were looked upon as leaders
                                                            ii.      Christian husbands are looked upon by God as leaders of their families
                                                          iii.      If he is the leader, then others should submit
                                                          iv.      Apparently this submission—this placing yourself under the other’s authority—is a voluntary thing—not something the man can command.  Choice of the wife.
                                                            v.      “As is fitting in the Lord”—apparently God wants this—so in following Christ a wife is to submit to her husband
                                                          vi.      Not a doormat—doesn’t mean man calls all the shots—in Ephesians 5, mutual submission is stated.
                                                        vii.      Ultimately the husband is spiritually responsible to God for his wife and family.  They may discuss the issues, but ultimately the husband then makes a decision.  Wife is then to support her husband in that decision.
                                                      viii.      Some say the reason wives are told to “submit” is that it was the greatest need of wives at that time.  Maybe they had more trouble submitting to their husband than other ways of relating to him. 

  1. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them—Was this the tendency of men also—the greatest need—to truly love their wives and not treat them harshly?
    1. Love—“agape”—sacrificial love, giving love, godly love
    2. Paul says in Ephesians 5, “Love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
    3. Do you love your wife as Christ loved the church?
    4. In their society, wife was like property—treat her anyway you wanted—just a social arrangement or convenient arrangement.  Paul said it should be much, much more.
    5. Spiritual leaders are to help others grow spiritually—husband is to be spiritual leader in family--do you do that for your wife?
    6. Spiritual leaders pray about the decisions they make—especially those that affect others—do you do that for your wife and family?
    7. Further—do not be harsh—some men then had pretty mean tempers—easy to take it out on the wife who was closest to you.  Still is easy, but not the Christian thing to do not the spiritual family leader thing to do.
    8. Is Christ harsh toward you?  Then don’t be harsh toward your wife?

Someone once said that if the husband truly loved his wife in this way, and especially as Christ loved the church, then it would be easy for a wife to submit to her husband. 

But each is responsible to God for their part—submission or love and lack of harshness, regardless of whether the other does their part. 

The issue here for both is discipleship—following Jesus—living the Lord’s way in this wife/husband relationship. 

“Whatever you do, in word and deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.”   

Does the way you relate to your husband or wife reflect your love for Christ and honor Him? 

Does the way you talk to or about your husband or wife show that you are a follower of Jesus to others—other family, other believers, other friends? 

This relationship—marriage relationship—can be a tremendous witness to the world of a life committed to Jesus.  Or it can be a turn-off from following Jesus. 

Does your relationship with Christ make your marriage different from those who do not know Jesus? 

Wives submit—this pleases God.

Husbands love wives and do not treat them harshly—this too pleases God. 

So how do you need to grow so you can do this more effectively in your marriage?

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